Hey Reader,
Hope you’re hanging on to the last bits of summer! (Soon, some of you will be shoveling your “weather”!)
Today I thought we’d cover why “networking” feels so brutally awkward.
Nobody wants your job title
The worst question at any networking event is also the most popular one.
“So, what do you do?”
It’s the networking equivalent of a limp handshake and zero eye contact.
Ask it, and watch someone’s eyes go slightly blank while they pull up the laminated card in their brain. The one they’ve recited so many times it stopped meaning anything around 2017.
“I’m a consultant in integrated solutions for mid-market B2B companies.”
Cool. I’m going to go find the cheese table now.
Here’s the thing. People don’t open up when you ask what they “do”.
They perform.
They give you the highlight reel, the elevator pitch, the version they’ve workshopped until it sounds polished and says nothing.
But ask a different question, and something shifts.
“What are you working on that you can’t stop talking about?”
Watch someone’s whole face change. Suddenly they’re not reciting. They’re actually talking.
Same with “What are you excited about these days?” or
“What brought you here today?”
“What’s something you’re looking forward to?”
“What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned lately?”
Or even just “How do you know all these people?”
(That last one works at basically every event ever, and it never gets old.)
The goal isn’t to sound clever. It’s to ask something that makes them forget they’re “networking”.
Because once people stop performing, they start connecting. And that’s when the conversation actually gets interesting. For both of you.
This is the difference between collecting business cards and leaving with someone who actually remembers you the next day.
The best interviewers know this. The question isn’t the cleverest one in the room. It’s the one that makes the other person forget they’re “networking.”
That’s exactly what I dig into on a free 15-minute call. I’m a Radio guy with 30-plus years in Major markets, and I can help you figure out what’s working, what’s flat, and what to try next.
No pitch, no package you have to buy. (Link below)
Stellar Quotes
“There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story.”
Mary Lou Kownacki
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
Stephen R. Covey
He bought me a drink (mob boss edition)
Not that I’m proud of this story.
After the morning show wrapped, a few of us would sometimes wander over to a bar near the station. At 10:30 a.m. We knew the regulars wouldn’t judge us.
The place was called “The Swizzle Stick”. I’ll let that name do the heavy lifting.
Decades-old carpeting. The kind that’s seen things and isn’t talking. The kind of dive where you don’t ask what’s on tap, you just say “whatever’s cold.”
So we’re finishing our beers when two very well-dressed guys walk in. They look around. They walk back out. We figured the carpet scared them off.
But then they came back. With an older gentleman in tow.
The bartender lit up the second he saw him. Like, genuinely happy to see this guy.
It was my turn to buy the round, so I was standing at the bar when the older man started chatting me up. Friendly. Easy. Just two guys at a dive bar at 10:30 in the morning, totally normal.
I asked what he was drinking.
He said ouzo.
I said I’d never heard of it.
He looked at me like I’d just said I’d never heard of air.
Then he turned to the bartender and said, “Get this man some ouzo.”
(For the record, ouzo is a Greek liqueur that tastes like licorice and hits like a small freight train.)
The two well-dressed guys, meanwhile, were playing pool the whole time. Not paying attention to anything.
Until the old man got up to leave.
Then they dropped their cue sticks mid-shot and sprinted to get the door. Like someone had hit a button.
After he left, the bartender waved me over.
“You know who that was, right?”
“No.”
“Joe Bonanno.”
“The gangster guy?”
“Yep.”
Suddenly the whole thing made sense. The suits. The pool. The door-sprinting. The way the bartender smiled like a kid on Christmas morning.
I had just spent twenty minutes making small talk with an actual mob boss… And he bought me a drink!
The ouzo hit me about fifteen minutes later. Hard, Reader!
Here’s the thing though. That conversation stuck with me. Not the mob part, though that’s a great party story. The part where a man who commanded a room without saying a word just… talked to me. Warm. Present. Zero performance.
That’s what a real voice does. It doesn’t announce itself. It just pulls you in.
Plus, now I can say, “Not only did I have a drink with Joe Bonano, but he PAID!”
Diversions
Your Thoughts
➡️ REAL LIFE ROYCE
Check out a recent podcast I did with the folks at Six Figure Business Mastery
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➡️ You can catch me “Live” this Friday, September 18th ⬅️
Holistic True Wealth with Dr. Jeffrey E. Berger
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9BOdwQiAfU
Facebook: https://fb.me/1Vx1G0g1Tc3GSEb
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/events/7504570144455708672​
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Free Coaching!
Your voice has been with you your entire life, but odds are nobody ever taught you how to “use it”. Let’s fix that. Grab a free discovery call and let’s see what’s possible. No push, no pressure.
We can do it by Zoom or phone, whichever you prefer. https://calendly.com/roycethewriter/royce-coaching-call​
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